Five Minute Friday – Beauty

12 Aug

GO

Beauty…

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a real problem with this word.  Especially if it is used to describe me in any way.  For as long as I can remember, I have been a fairly shy individual, lacking in self confidence.  To this day, when someone pays me a compliment (even Hubby), my initial reaction is to roll my eyes and look away blushing.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate a compliment or am fishing for more, I just always have a thought in the back of my mind that the person speaking it to me is only being kind.  But, why would anyone be insincere with their words?  Oh, I don’t know…  Why did my 4th grade teacher ostracize me in front of the entire class for doing an art project differently than everyone else?  Why did my very 1st boyfriend in high school cheat on me and then make fun of me in front of his friends?  Why did the last two boyfriends I had previous to meeting my Hubby continuously put me down and use me?  Who knows?  But all of these things can weigh on one’s mind over time and create a sense of worthlessness.

And, let’s not forget the media image of beauty that is a size 2 model with perfect skin, hair, legs, etc.  Or, the women who spend thousands of dollars on boob jobs to look forever “young and perky.”  I mean, how do I compare to any of that?!  I suppose all of these reasons together are why when someone flashes a goofy smile at me and tells me that I am beautiful, I look away in shame and disbelief.  I say, “no, I’m just average” instead of saying “thank you.”

STOP

I don’t take very many pictures of just me because I never seem to like the way I look in them.  And, after Hubby taking about 20 different pictures of me on this dock in Annapolis (and several that I erased for one reason or another), I finally decided that this one was at least suitable.

Task:  Today’s prompt was to write for only 5 minutes about the word “beauty” without stopping to correct myself or think too much about the act of writing.  The five minute time frame is still proving to be a challenge and I suppose that is also a result of my self esteem issues (always trying to please others or be what they think I should be or write.) 

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6 Responses to “Five Minute Friday – Beauty”

  1. Leslie August 13, 2011 at 12:17 am #

    Compliments so hard to accept……yet beauty is in the eye of the beholder, even if we think they need glasses.
    First time here, I’ll be back when I have more time….

  2. Sandra Heska King August 13, 2011 at 2:02 am #

    I adore this dock photo! And those in your sidebar? Adorable! And yes, beautiful you.

    Words. They can build up and break down. Sometimes it’s so hard to shake their effects.

    I’ve been in that people-pleasing role. So stressful. And stress steals beauty. 😉

    Beautiful and honest post. Love to you.

  3. hubby August 13, 2011 at 2:13 am #

    Remember babe, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Every day I look at you and see the very definition of beauty…..inside and out. I love you.

  4. Karrie Ringelstetter August 13, 2011 at 5:15 pm #

    Well Robby said it all. Jen you are Beautiful inside and out!!!

  5. Penelope August 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

    It makes me sad to think women feel they need to be size 2 to be beautiful…do any men even like that in a woman? I remember men preferring Marilyn Monroe, and women preferring Audrey Hepburn. I’d rather be a Marilyn than an Audrey, and you definitely strike me more as a Marilyn 😉

  6. saretta August 16, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    Compliments are hard for me to accept, too, but I have learned to smile vaguely, say thanks and move the conversation on to something else without blushing or, worse, protesting. I think you look adorable in the pic, and since I’m writing this compliment I’ll never even notice if you blush! 🙂

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