Lost love

1 Apr

I came across a box of memories last night and it brought me to tears.  For the last several months, I’ve had to put on my tough face and remain focused at all times but amidst all of that, I’ve forgotten how much I miss you.

You were my companion for many years; remaining by my side through thick and thin.  Whenever I had a bad day, the comfort of you sitting next to me and listening while I talked out my stresses was just what I needed.  Every time I came home, just knowing you were there filled the entire house with a welcoming presence.  I still remember leisurely walks we would take in the neighborhood or by the water in Annapolis when the weather was nice.  And, the sound of your breathing and warm body pressed up next to mine always helped me fall asleep at night.

But, you were taken from me too soon.  Last February, the sudden sickness that overcame you took us all by surprise and broke my heart.  As I sat holding your worn purple leash in my hand last night, still with small strands of your fir attached to it, I fondly thought of the amazing last day at the park we spent together.  It should have been so cold out but we had an unexpectedly warm 70 degree day for February.  So, we ventured out with you on my lap in the car and your head out the window with your signature tongue hanging out and puggy smile as we made our way to the park.  I remember your slow limp as we wandered around in the grass together taking pictures for probably the last time.

I had a constant headache that entire last week of your life from crying and worrying so much.  And, I will never forget how hard it was to say goodbye to you, kiss you one last time and watch you take your last breath.  And, as time has passed, I don’t cry every time I see a pug on TV anymore but I smile with rememberance and appreciation of all the time I had with you.  I still wish sometimes that you were here to lay beside me or let me hold you and pet you as I confide in you.

One day, I will have another pug of my own.  And, though she will be different than you, I will probably always think of you when I hear her snort or laugh when I see her “Elvis lip” snaggletooth as you used to do.

You are my girl Suzie and I’ll always love you!

RIP Suzie Q!  July 2002 – February 19, 2011

2 Responses to “Lost love”

  1. Kevin April 2, 2012 at 1:39 am #

    Aww, That was sweet! I still remember how upset you were. I felt so bad for you. I’m glad you can celebrate her now. And imagine my surprise to find out her name is also the name of my best friends Pomeranian! Keep up the great work Jen!

  2. mommakiss02 April 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm #

    Oh, the love of a pet. it’s deeply unconditional. our dog is older and slowing down. He’s been in the boys lives since they were born.

    sorry for your loss

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